Post-Return Entry

So I left New Zealand a month ago to this day. I figured this would be an appropriate time to collect my thoughts about the trip and put them together for one last entry. I would like to say I've been spending the last month mulling over my experience thinking of the perfect way to write this entry, but that's only half true, the other half I was procrastinating and not doing anything at all really. I guess I can start with the same thing that I tell everyone who has asked me how the experience was so far: it was really great and by the end of the five months (or so) I was entirely ready to come home. Now after being home for a month I can safely say that home can be quite boring at times, but my first thought in response to boredom isn't 'I wish I was back in New Zealand right now', on the contrary it's 'I can't wait to get back down to Boston for the fall semester.' I guess that sums up a lot about how I view my abroad experience in hindsight. It was fun and I had a really enjoyable time in a foreign land, but when it comes down to it, I'd rather spend my time now looking forward and being excited for the future, rather than dwelling on the past.

I would like to say that New Zealand changed me in some time of significant and inspiring way, but truth be told I feel the same as when I left. I feel a little more grown up (about 5 months to be exact), a little more mature, but nothing too monumental. I guess the biggest change is that I feel more grounded (go figure, I go abroad and end up more grounded... not sure how that one works). I feel more attached to New Hampshire and Boston than I was when I left, I have a newfound excitement to return to school in the fall (it's been a full year since I've attended classes at Northeastern). I guess this is the best case scenario, it's better to be excited about the coming day than sad the previous day is forever done with. People asked me if I'm dying to go back there or if I'll end up going back there later in life and to be quite honest I have no idea. I'm at a place now where I've got a healthy does of traveling and I'm not in the mindset to plan any other global adventures I might experience in the future. I just am not jumping to leave this place behind again after I've just arrived back.

I guess the advice that I would give future study abroad students ties to what I've said in this blog all along. Don't go into study abroad with the stereotypical expectations about the experience. Your trip is whatever you make of it, don't think you have to do everything that people expect you to do. I suppose that seems also like a life-long lesson, but it really is quite true in this situation. Everyone will want to tell you that you'll have a life-changing experience and that it'll be the journey of a lifetime. Maybe it will, and maybe it won't, but let it be whatever it turns into. Don't go into it expecting much of anything, half the fun about traveling far away is the mystery and the intrigue that such an event holds. It's more fun when your abroad experience turns into something you hardly ever expected and to be honest, it was much more fun for me to figure things out as they came along the way. Also you don't need to reinvent yourself while abroad, oftentimes people force themselves to change because they feel like it's part of the process. Let things happen and life will end up changing you (it has a funny way of doing that). I learned that I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I initially thought, so I guess in an odd way, I changed by not changing so much.

I would like to say I learned a whole ton about New Zealand culture and history, but truth be told I am still no expert on any foreign culture (I'm probably not that good of a resource when it comes to American culture either), but what I did learn I learned from people I met and friends I made. There's only so much you can take out of a classroom and, while it is called 'study abroad' a lot of the knowledge I gained was entirely outside of the classroom and off the campus. I may not have learned a lot about the history of New Zealand, but I got to know some of the people who live there very well, and saw a lot of it's beautiful scenery. I've noticed that I still say some kiwi terms now and again (I don't think I'll ever stop calling candy "lollies") and I have to catch my tongue sometimes because I realize that no one I'm currently talking to will get any of the references I was about to make, but that's all part of re-adjusting to my surroundings and realizing that I'm, once again, back home and no longer abroad.

I could ponder over the question of what I learned about myself while abroad for months and not come up with a satisfactory answer. I feel like I've given a few examples and ideas of how I might have changed in the preceding paragraphs, but truth be told it's very hard to see how you've personally changed. I guess I'm just a little to close to the question to give an accurate answer. I personally don't think I've changed that much, but maybe if you were to ask someone else you'd get an entirely different answer. I don't feel like I found a new piece of myself in New Zealand, or left a piece of myself there either for that matter. I feel, by and large, like the same old me, for better or worse.

I guess the last question to address would be what was my favorite memory. The answer to this is just being able to spend my three week break on the road with four other friends going all over a completely foreign country. This is probably a cop-out because it's not one single memory, but rather a collection. However, to me it's very hard to separate a single memory out of that whole trip, it is best recollected as an experience in its entirety. Come to think of it that's kind of how I feel about the entire five month trip. It's best remembered as a whole experience. Trying to pick out specific instants and moments seems to ruin the continuity and flow of the whole experience to me. I guess that's why I don't necessarily love fielding questions about the experience either. The whole thing is a kind of "you had to be there" moment to me. I can do my best to explain it in excruciatingly explicit detail, but even then it's all still words and not much more. Such moments are much better to live through than to relay to someone else after the fact. I guess this is the end of this blog, who knows where my amazing ability with prose will take me later in life, perhaps there will be a blog resurgence later, but for now this is it, I hope you've all enjoyed reading.

weird...

So it is currently around 12:30 a.m. in New Zealand on sunday morning. My flight leaves Christchurch in a matter of hours (10 to be exact). It feels very odd to no longer be measuring my time left here in months, weeks, or days. I've been anxious to get home for a little while now, but that doesn't make leaving behind all my friends and experiences that I've made here. It feels like the last semester really flew by. Come to think of it, I can say that for the last few semesters of my collegiate career. I guess that just solidifies the point I've been hinting at all semester, life comes at you fast and if you don't take everything in stride you're going to miss quite a few important things. I've been scrambling the past few days trying to make time for everyone and to say my last goodbyes. It's very overwhelming and I know I'm going to forget a few things I've been meaning to say and goodbyes that I've been meaning to give.

I guess the weirdest part about this is that I don't know when (if ever) I'll be back in this country. That makes these goodbyes more permanent than I would like. We're down to three of five people living our flat as of now and it has been a weird experience to say goodbye to people as they leave knowing that I have no idea when I'll see them again. I've always coped with goodbyes knowing that I'd see that person again in the future whether it be days, weeks, or months from now, but never have I dealt with a scenario where I'd be saying goodbye to friends not knowing if I'd ever see them again. It's a extremely odd emotion to be feeling to say the least.

I've seen some amazing things during my time here and met some incredible people that I'll never forget. I guess when it comes down to it that's all you can really hope for from an experience like this. It's given me a pretty grand perspective on things and what does and does not matter in the grand scheme of things. There are things worth worrying about and protecting and other things that are best left alone and let go. I'm sad to be leaving, but at the time I recognize that it is the right time. I've done most of the things I've set out to do during my time here, experienced the things I wanted to, had a great time all around, but it's time to pack up and head out. With all my belongings safely packed into suitcases my room looks like a skeleton of what it once was. It serves as a reminder that even though this country has left its mark on me, I'll leave just as swiftly as I came. I can only hope to have made some lasting relationships with people who will hold fond memories of me. I suppose that's probably true of most events in life, you'll leave just as quick as you came with less impact that you would've hoped, the only truly lasting remnants of the time you spend in a place are the interpersonal experiences you have with other people.

I'm running out of things to say here in my last New Zealand blog entry so I'll hang up the towel soon. I've got a few hours left in this country and I suppose I'll go out and spend them in the best manner that I can, hanging out with friends and enjoying the dwindling moments of their company. I hope everything is well with the people who are reading this, I'm sure I'll see all of you soon. I'll write one or two entries when I return to the country and let you know how I'm adjusting, but until then I bid you g'day.

10 sleeps left in New Zealand

Hmmm... what to say that hasn't already been said. I've got a little over a week left of time here in the Kiwi country. I'm not really sure what else to write about. I'm pretty content with things at this point in the trip (aside from the impending two exams that are looming over my head). I don't have a lot on my mind aside from trying to get through some studying and do well on these last few assessments. I had a nice, quiet week working on my sociology take-home exam, which I think turned out pretty well (for the most part). Still no word on any final grades for the two classes I'm now done with, but I feel pretty confident with my marks in both of them. We'll see how confident I am with my two unfinished classes once monday evening rolls around and I am entirely done. With that being said I've still made time to get out a little bit and enjoy the last few weeks I have with friends (in fact maybe a little too much). I figured there's only so much you can fret over studying and worrying about what letter grade you're going to receive for your work. I've worked hard this semester and feel pretty on top of the material I need to know for the final, so why not take a few breaks here and there to help pass the time and little more enjoyably.

I know I will be sad when I have to say goodbye to people, but I feel somewhat (guiltily) apathetic at this point. I think that's just because I really haven't even realized how soon I'm leaving. Even though I'm down to almost single-digit days left it still seems far off. I guess I've settled into that mindset over the past few months. There would be times when I would miss home, but I focused on the present and worked to enjoy each minute I have over here, cause who knows when something like this will happen again. I guess I've gotten a bit caught up in that mentality and while I've been subconsciously counting down the days until I get home it still feels far off for some reason. I guess my mind is a bit conflicted right now about what to feel. I'm sure I'll realize all the things that warrant missing as I'm leaving the country and within a few weeks of being home. People I've talked to ask me how the experience was and I pretty much tell them all the same thing. It was really great, I saw some amazing things and met some exceptional people, but I'm ready to be home. Some of my abroad friends said they felt the same way, while others wish they could spent the rest of their lives abroad (I guess it really just depends on the individual). Personally, I just have far too much emotional investment back home to be able to spend more that five months away.

It will definitely be odd arriving home and having most of my friends having either already left town or gearing up to leave town for the remaining months of summer. I guess that's too be expected though I mean it's the summer before most people's senior years and although I'll be a junior (thank you five-year system) I still feel that sense of being more grown up than I'd like to admit. This whole experience kind of solidified that feeling too. I mean being able to be out on your own, halfway around the world for five months is not small feat. I've been in situations and circumstances here that are outside of my comfort zone, I've grown up, and I suppose the most amazing thing of all is that I come out of this with both feet planted firmly on the ground. I feel a bit more level-headed than when I left the country. I've learned how to relax a little, not stress too much over everything. I've taken a backseat in planning things that I normally would've taken charge of. I've tried to step out of my comfort zone physically, emotionally, and socially and I'd like to think I've benefited from it. I'm still that same sleep deprived stress case I've always been, but maybe just a little less-so now. There's only so much you can worry about everything, and stress is only productive in very small doses. I hope to keep that mindset going into the last few years of school, because graduate coursework is not going to be a cakewalk by any means.

I guess I've learned a little bit how to focus on the present while I'm over here. People always talk about when are you ever going to get to experience something like this again and in that question/statement lies an idea that I probably should have clung onto a long time ago. There's only so much that planning for the future can do for you and there are times when you need to sit back and enjoy where you are in life. Sure you can take time to look back and see where you've been, look forward to see where you're going, but all in all if you don't take time to enjoy where you are now then what's the point? I guess I may be a little hypocritical because as I write this I'm somewhat counting down the days until I get home, but putting that aside I've really tried to enjoy my time over here for what it is, a fleeting experience. I guess that can be said about any experience, ever moment is fleeting in reality, the good and the bad will both pass and cling to what you can because it's not like any of us are getting any younger. Alright well I'm not entirely sure what the overall message of this entry is/was supposed to be, but I figured it had been a little while and I should update and this is what came out. I've got a few entries left in me before I retire this blog so I'm sure you are all looking forward to my final profound thoughts to come in the next week or so, but until next time, take care.

20 days left (almost down to the teens)

The pictures for today are brought to you from the northern tip of New Zealand. That would be to the northern most point of the north island (I wanted to see how many times I could say north in the first two sentences of my blog). It was a fairly amazing spot to look out on, but it was very much geared towards tourists, which was a bit of a downside. I think I mentioned this before, but it probably bears repeating. Most of my favorite parts of our trip across the country were the places that were off the beaten path, where you could really sit down and enjoy everything around you. I do enjoy places like this that are naturally beautiful, but it does have a detracting aspect when everyone is busy around you with cameras out and posing for that perfect photo. I guess that was one upside of me losing my camera on this trip, I really didn't have to worry about capturing everything I saw in a digital image, I could just relax and look around and know that I was experiencing this for myself and not worrying about viewing everything though a lens. Technology tends to make you worry more about relaying information than actually absorbing it. Thus, why our generation needs iPhones to look up on wikipedia all the answers to the questions that we should already know if we paid attention half the time we were supposed to. Hmmm well I guess that's enough of an aside as to why technology will be the downfall of our generation and of human intelligence in general (believe me I'm not suggesting I'm exempt from such accusations, if I'm leaving my flat for over a minute I won't go without my iPod in hand).
Well I guess it's come down to the last three weeks of my time in New Zealand (actually less than three weeks if you want to get technical about it). I can't say I've really absorbed that idea yet, I've been living in this place for about 4.5 months and I guess a lot of things have become habit for me. I'll probably miss them once their gone, but I can't pinpoint any one things that I'll really miss once I board that plane on the 28th. I guess my mind is a bit more focused on the finals I have ahead of me in the coming weeks. I finished my game theory final (and therefore am done with the course entirely) this past Friday. I'm pretty sure it went well, but I'll know for sure in about a week or two, but regardless it feels good to have at least one class checked off my list so now I can move on to the three others that await. This coming week will consist of me reading and writing essays for my take-home sociology exam. I don't foresee this as being a really difficult assignment, I guess the most difficult aspect is facing procrastination in the face and staring it down until I finish the exam and hand it in by friday.
I may be doing a bit of traveling towards the end of the week, a handful of friends went on a trip around the south island for this week (since it's a study week and I'm the only one who has a take-home test due). I might end up meeting up with them later on in the week down in Dunedin if I can get my act together. I'm not entirely sure I'm up for traveling, but I can always decide that later on in the week. I've actually enjoyed the past couple of days being quieter without everyone around and always feeling like I should be going out or doing something. There is something quite fitting about winding down my time in New Zealand, by spending some quieter time to sit back and reflect a bit and, perhaps more importantly, catch up on some sleep. I suppose a lot of people would be bummed to have a take-home exam during the week when everyone is traveling, but I'm glad to have my finals somewhat divided up over four weeks. I know a lot of friends who have a lot of finals crammed together, which makes preparation a bit hard. However, even with mine being a bit more spread out I will have environmental economics and modern world history (which I am most certainly not looking forward to) within two days of each other. So after this week I'll buckle down and study for the following one and then have my two exams on the 20th and 22nd. Then it's six days until I'm on a plane home.
Aside from that mini-update on academics and whatnot I'm not sure I have any other terribly exciting news to report on. I'm a bit tired-eyed right now even though it's only 8 p.m. so maybe I'll get to bed early tonight (although that's probably wishful thinking at best). Perhaps I'll spend a bit of time trying to get a start on my sociology exam since I've put it off for the past few days, but again that may a bit to ask for right now. I can safely say that I've most definitely reached that point where I'm ready a for a couple of months off from school work (although I feel kind of guilty saying that because I've spent the last four months in a foreign country many would kill to visit, but in my defense I did do a fair amount of school work and have stayed on top of my studies over here). Well, maybe I'll come back next week with an amazing story, or maybe I'll give you another terribly exciting update on how my finals are going because I know how much you love to hear about that kind of stuff. Or maybe I'll just have a bit more on my mind that I do right now, which would make for a more interesting entry. Until then I hope everything is going well with you all halfway across the world.

rounding out the last few weeks

Well I know I seem to have gotten a little behind on my weekly regular entries. I like to think that I write such lengthy and involved entries that it's hard for my brain to recover in a week (but really that's just me making up long-shot excuses for procrastinating). So now it's nearly 2 a.m. on a Wednesday morning and I'm at my computer blogging. I've just finished up studying for the evening for an exam which is on Friday. I'm by no means done preparing, but I'm at least done for the night/morning which is a start. I suppose I didn't get as much done this past weekend as I would have liked (it was a three day weekend because it was the Queen's birthday this past monday, so hooray for monarchies). However, I did get to go out and have a grand time with friends and sleep the days away, which is something I think everyone needs now and again so I'm not too upset with the lack of time I devoted to studying (what an exemplary scholarship student I am, huh?). Anyway I've been packing in the past few days with reading and note-taking and will be packing the next few with review and practice tests. I'm not too worried about the test, I think it will be manageable and then after that it's one class down three to go.

It's very odd to be at the tail end of classes. As much as I'm looking forward to going home, I've realized how fast the past four months have gone. In fact I can kind of hardly believe that I've been over here that long. In some ways it feels like an eternity and in others it feels like an instant. I'm not really conflicted about leaving here, but I think the fact that the time felt like it went by fast probably is a good aspect in terms of my enjoyment of the experience (I guess you could go with the sure-fire saying of 'time flies when you're having fun'). I guess I've just kept busy with classes and trying to adjust and absorb a new environment that I haven't really stopped to watch the days go by. Yet here I am with 25 days left in a foreign country I may never see again (who knows where my life travels will take me, but it's not like America where I know I'll return again and again). I think it's going to be very odd to say goodbye to people I've gotten to know so well, yet may never encounter again. I haven't really focused on acknowledging that aspect of it yet. I think everyone has their utopian views of the world, where they picture themselves staying in touch and seeing all their friends again in their future. I guess it's easier to stay in touch given the age of technology we're in, but technology doesn't make distances any shorter to travel across (yet at least).

I guess I'm kind of in the mode of one day at a time right now. Both academically and socially. I've got only a little bit of time in between tests (I don't consider a week to be an entirely large amount of time to study for two finals, especially when one is modern world history) so I'm trying to get assessments ready and done with as they're thrown at me. It's working well so far, but that might be because I have yet to have a final exam, we'll see how I feel about my prior sentiments in about four days. Anyways, I keep going back to thinking about how drastically different my experience has been than what I expected it to be initially. As I've mentioned before, this is neither good nor bad, this experience has been what it's been and I wouldn't necessarily change anything about it. I think I just came in here expecting to be completely immersed in a new culture and immediately in love with the country. Neither of these has happened, but I've definitely adjusted to my surroundings here and acquired a fondness for the country over the span of my stay here. I'll be somewhat sad to see it all go, but I will also welcome New Hampshire and Boston with open arms. I find that I've missed the big things and little things about home. The personal relationships I have with friends and family are obvious, but even beyond that all the minutiae of life at home at school have taken a permanent residence in my mind for the past few months.

I also guess I expected to be a somewhat different person coming over here. What better environment to change your persona than in a country where no one knows your name or face. While I have a grown a mighty manly (read: scruffy) beard, I don't think I've changed anything. However, I've learned some important things about myself. Namely, that I like who I am and am comfortable in my own skin. That's more than I can say for a lot of people, and while I know I have shortcomings and faults, I am largely happy with the person I've developed into. For example, I expected to come over here and be a much more outdoors-oriented person, since New Zealand is known for it's natural beauty and scenic landscapes, however, this didn't really happen. I did spend three weeks traveling, camping, etc. across the country which I enjoyed immensely, but I realized that I'm not an outdoors person and I'm okay with that. I've adopted the view that it takes getting out of your comfort zone to know where it is to begin with. I'm not a huge fan of hiking, camping, fishing, etc. What I do really do enjoy though is doing things that other people really enjoy as a way to get to know them better. I would not know the people I went on that trip half as well (hell even a quarter as well) as I do now had it not been for doing all of those things on that trip. There are things that you can only find out about people given certain scenarios and situations. People show their true colors when you're around them 24/7 for three weeks crammed into a packed tiny car and doing every activity with them.

I guess the same could be said with the larger experience I've had over here in New Zealand. This is something that really can't be replicated in any way shape or form. All the things I've done over here and the people I met have been in the context of this trip and this experience. I guess you could really say that about any stage in life, but I feel that it's especially true when you're halfway around the world with a whole lot of people around that you don't know in the slightest. Well now that I've expanded an individual insight, from a road trip, to my experience in New Zealand, to all my past/present/future life experiences that's as good a place as any to wrap up this entry. I'm sorry to not have exciting news on the happenings over here halfway across the world (in the future mind you), but seeing as how the majority of my time will be taken up with academia in the next few weeks, you'll have to deal with my ramblings in the next few entries. Oh and sorry for the lack of visual stimuli in this entry I am too tired/lazy to pick out good photos and insert them into the entry (and yes, I am that lazy right now).

writer's blog (it's a pun on writer's block if you didn't catch that)

Hello faithful readers. I'm back after taking a week break from updating. Although I can't say I've got any more to say because of it. The pics in this entry are from the (I think) third week of our trip where we went canyoning a little bit outside of Auckland. Now for those of you who don't really know what canyoning is (as I didn't before I went) it's basically putting a wetsuit and a helmet on and jumping off of cliffs, repelling down waterfalls, and sliding down fast moving streams. Also, on a side note, wet suits have got to be some of the most uncomfortable apparel every invented (and this is coming from a person who wear awkwardly tight shirts and jeans). They make me feel like I'm trapped in a tight sponge that smells of mildew and sweat (yeah, they're that good).
Anyway, canyoning was a lot of fun. It was pretty grey and rained the whole time we were out, but it doesn't really matter when you're in a wetsuit jumping into and wading through water the whole time your out. Our guide was named Neil and I'm pretty sure he was crazy. The five of us would spend about 40 minute total repelling down a waterfall and he would just proceed to jump off of it like it was not a big deal at all. However, I've found that I oftentimes think most kiwis are crazy in one way or another, so I guess he's pretty standard considering his country of residence.
I must admit that I'm not the most comfortable person when it comes to heights. Now jumping off of a miniature cliff into a pool of water is not that big of a deal to me, but repelling down a large waterfall was a bit anxiety producing to me. To all of you who love to go climbing and are used to repelling and belaying and all of that then I commend you, but I don't think it's for me. After repelling down one waterfall I was pretty sure I could manage okay (even though I was far from comfortable with it). However, the next (and last) waterfall we were supposed to repel down proved a bit trickier for me. I don't find it particular natural to lean all my weight back when the only thing holding me from falling down a large drop is a rope and some metal. So the last waterfall we went two at a time (on different ropes but next to each other). I was doing alright to begin with but about halfway down the waterfall I managed to lose my footing, because you know rocks covered in moss get kind of slippery when it's raining and there's water running over them. So I lost my footing and kind of crashed body first into the rocks. That would've been fine in and of itself, but knowing me I have to outdo myself and I proceeded to unsuccessful get back into a position that was comfortable to repel down in and about every three steps would do the exact same thing, slip and crash in the rocks (I guess that's one reason why they make wetsuits padded). It helps further when you're trying to avoid crashing into a friend repelling next to you all the while two of your friends are at the bottom laughing at you, not so much elegantly repel down the waterfall as stumble your way down holding onto a rope every time you lose footing and slam into a rock wall. Anyway that's pretty much all I have to say about the canyoning experience. Aside from a few scrapes and bruises it actually was really fun and I would recommend it if you ever get a chance.
Aside from recollecting a little bit about a portion of our road trip I don't have a whole lot to update you all on, unfortunately. I have a presentation and paper due at the end of this week. A final next week, a take home test the week after that, then a week to study and my last two finals. Then I have six days off until I'm on a plane back home. I really feel like I'm in a wind down mode right now. I don't have a frantic desire to go out and have a last hurrah and see more of the country or go out and live it up every night. I'm really more in the mood to just relax the last few weeks, get work done and finish up this semester. I've been feeling a little spacey and removed lately, but I'm not entirely sure why that is, maybe a lack of sufficient sleep or a lot of work building up to the last few weeks, or maybe some combination of those two things. I'm looking forward to getting home, but I don't think I'm giving enough consideration to the amount I'll miss the people and things I've seen here. I guess that'll come more after I've left and returned home.
Also I think part of me is a little scared about going home. I know it'll only have been five months away, but I feel like a lot has changed in five months. Plus in about 10 more they'll be even more change when friends start graduating and moving to different parts of the country, getting on with their lives and whatnot. I think a part of me always wants to stay in the present even if it's not entirely where I want to be, just because at least the passing of time is one less thing to worry about. I was walking outside yesterday and it kind of hit that I've grown up quite a bit while I've been over here (and no that's not in reference to my awesome manly beard, although it should be), but I think oftentimes the mentality I just mentioned gets me too caught up in trying to stay in one place and not realizing where's I've been or how far I've drifted from where I started. I guess it's normal to worry a bit about how other people have changed if I think I've changed over the past few months, but only time will tell if that's valid or not. Alright well I feel like I've gone off rambling a bit to compensate for me not having much to write for this entry so I'm going to call it quits here. Hopefully I'll come back next week with a bit more of a spark.

farewell to cape farewell

The pictures in this entry are from a place we went to on the northern tip of the south island called Cape Farewell. We learned about it after getting hopeless lost in the Abel Tasman national park and had to stop in at a random spall bar/restaurant to get oriented. We met an American women named Jane who, a few years past, had moved to New Zealand and told us about a few of the prettier sights around the area. It's a bit off the beaten track and we arrived there right at sunset. It was an absolutely gorgeous place with cliffs, beaches, huge caves, and sweeping fields. It was probably one of my favorite places that we saw on our whole three week road trip. I don't have a whole lot to say about it, I feel it's easier to let the pictures speak for themselves here. It was really a breathtaking place to wander around and explore.

Aside from that I suppose I'll give an update at where my head is at this point of the study abroad experience. Being homesick has started to set in, somewhat significantly. Maybe this is because I know I'm done with the majority (if not all) of my traveling around NZ, or because I have to do papers and study for tests for most of my remaining time here, or maybe because it's starting to feel like winter here while it's summer back home, or maybe it's all (or none) of these things. What I think really is resonating with me right now is how quick life passes by. It's an odd mental twist because you would think that the aforementioned mentality would make me cherish my last few weeks here and value every limited minute I have left on this country, but it's surprisingly somewhat the opposite. I find myself thinking more and more about how most of my friends are now home in NH (or will soon be) and that this is the last summer where most of my classmates will be home for a significant period of time.
It struck me while sitting in my room for most of the day while it was grey, cold, and raining/sleeting outside that you can immerse yourself as much as possible in a foreign environment and fall in love as much as you want, but that it's still just that: a foreign environment. I know it's probably trite to say home is where the hear is, but that sentiment has really been resonating with me. I find myself wishing I could just be at home hanging with friends and family lately maybe it's just a temporary thing in the next week I'll be wanting to stay here, but it doesn't quite feel temporary in that manner. There's only so much time that we have on this earth and it's ultimately up to us to decide how we spend it, and I truly feel that, while scenic beauty and a foreign environment can cause feelings of awe and amazement, that those are ultimately a distant second to the awe and amazement you feel from just the most ordinary personal experiences you have via the relationships with the people you love. I do enjoy the company of the people I've met here and have made lots of good friends, but so much of the culture here is around going out and drinking and partying that it seems somewhat watered down.
I keep coming back to this line from a song by the format: "you know the night life is just not for me, cause all you really need are a few good friends". I guess my mind works lyrically and musically and I could probably cite a lyric or song for any mood that I'm going through, but that's really what has resonated with me over the past few days, just a single line from one song. It's odd that you find the deepest truths in the simplest of phrases so often. Something written does have to be profoundly complex or packed with SAT vocabulary words to insight the simplest and most powerful emotions in us as humans. Sorry that was a bit of a digression, but it all comes back to having really realized what's so important about life and our short existence in a massive world. A person can be inspired by any number of things (music, sport, dance, etc.) and most times you can transport your passion wherever you go in life, but you can't transport that feeling of home. That sense of belonging that you only feel at certain places in life and maybe it's a temporary feeling and people can learn to call home wherever they want it, but right now, at this point in life, home means one, and only one, thing.
I'm not sure why I get quite nostalgic and homesick from time to time. It's weird that trivial things trigger a deep onset of emotions in me. Not in a sad or depressing way, but I guess in a happy way. I mean I wouldn't feel this way if I didn't have so much I care about back home, and it would be much more unsettling if I was never homesick and didn't miss anything back home, but that is obviously not the case so I guess I can rest assured. It just seems like while I do only have a finite amount of time left here, I also only have a finite amount of time left at home before adulthood comes crashing in hard (as if it hasn't already has). I'm at five year school so I may be a little behind everyone else, but the real world with graduate schools and jobs and families and all the glorious and terrifying aspects of truly accepting that you're an adult can take to you far reaches of the country if not the world. I can't help, but feel that I'm missing out on some things while I'm over here these past few weeks. Of course you could just as easily flip that statement and say if I was home I would be missing thing over here in NZ for the next few weeks. It's just not the same, I guess I'm just so much more invested in my life back home than I am here (quite understandably).
Oftentimes I find it's harder to get away from things over here. Yet another somewhat contradictory statement, after all, how is harder to get away from things when you're halfway around the world from everything? I guess since everyone is so adamant about making the most of their time in NZ that they're always looking to go places, meet up, hang out, go out, and so on and so forth. Meanwhile at the same time I feel like I should be doing all of those things so it's hard to find the mental determination to put off all of that and just spend some time alone. There are always people around our flat, or on campus, or anywhere really (I mean we're in a city after all). What's weird though is that I can always find solace in walking around in Boston at night with just my iPod and an empty mind, but I don't find that I can do that here. I think I just don't have the same comfort with this city as I do Boston, which is to be expected I've only been here for a few months (and will only be here for a few more). I guess I just miss being able to escape in that sense (if that really makes any sense, which it might not to some of you).
I feel that I should probably reiterate at this point that it's not like I'm disliking my time here and am counting down to my departure this entry is more of a venting of these feelings, because it's often just a whole lot easier for me to lay back and enjoy myself after this is all put to paper (or to screen I guess would be the correct way to phrase it for this blog). I'm still enjoying being here, it just doesn't have the same allure that it did in it's initial stages or that it did while driving across the country. This entry was a lot more profound and insightful in my head when I had it all jumbled in a mess up there, but I hope it wasn't a complete bore and you've at least made it to this last sentence. I keep saying that I'll update with some more brief entries with a few pictures and a description of places we traveled to (and maybe I will, who knows), but as of now you're going to have to get by with my weekly entries that are a bit too long (sorry people, I just like to make things difficult). Until next time I hope all is well with everyone reading this.

a week of spacing out and procrastination

So I've completed my first week of academia after returning from three weeks of vacation. I must say that, while three weeks off is great for study abroad students who want to travel, it is an absolute crap system in terms of structuring a semester. I can take three plus weeks at the end of a semester (i.e. our winter break back home) because you've had closure to the term and all your finals and assignments are done, but when you do it halfway through a semester it's just enough time to really suck all the motivation to do work out of you. I pretty much just got into the swing of not doing anything work related for the entire duration of the break, so this past week has been a little rough. Luckily, unlike some of my friends, I had no assignments due the returning week, but I've got some papers that I could use a head start on if I could've found the motivation this past weekend.
I really wanted to get some work done this weekend, but as it turns out this blog entry is probably the most productive thing I've done in the past week. I've been both antsy and exhausted this past week, and I'm not quite sure that's a good combination when I should be awake and attentive in the classroom. Oh well, I'm sure everyone reading this feels terribly sorry for me that I got three weeks off in a foreign country to go galavanting about. I'm sure I'll come around in the coming week(s), after all I really have to since I actually have papers and assignments due relatively soon. I'll just take the past 7 days as a buffer period in which I have slowly re-immersed myself into the world of learning.
I've got to admit, even though I've got a little under two months left here I'm starting to get excited about getting back home. Not to jump the gun or anything, it'll just be great to see everyone during the summer I was contemplating staying here a couple of weeks after the semester ended, but I actually really want to be home for the last summer that kids in my class will be home. I mean after this we've all got to face the terrifying real world. I guess it's gotten a little weird knowing that everyone back at home is winding down their year and gearing up for summer break when it's autumn over here and I've got a few more months left of school. It's easy to convince yourself you're not missing out on things back home when you're going on a road trip all over the countryside of New Zealand, but it gets a little less convincing once you're sitting in a classroom while it's getting colder outside when it's summer back home.
Anyway, that's probably enough of me complaining about how hard I have it over here is tough ol' kiwi land. The pictures in this entry are from the sand dunes we went to on Cape Reinga on the norht island. This cape is home to the 90 mile beach (which in actuality is only about 60 miles, go figure) which oftentimes people drive along. We, being the wise college students that we are, also decided to go driving on the beach. Unfortunately it's tough to complete the whole stretch when you're two wheel drive rental car is riding quite low to the ground due to 5 passengers and a trunk load of luggage and you have no real idea of what the tide is doing or whether it's coming in or going out. The drive was an adventure to say the least and after gunning it through a somewhat large stream of tidal water we reached a rocky slow that we could not pass over (not for lack of trying mind you). In the end we turned around and retraced our steps back to the starting point of the beach (we didn't quite make it to any of the four or five other entry/exit points). I'm sure the rental car company would be delighted to hear we gave their vehicle and nice coating of sand and saltwater, because everyone knows those two things go really well with automobile paint jobs.

Back to the dunes, we spent a good chunk of the day exploring and running around the sand dunes. It may not be that amazing to those who's seen sand dunes before (because I feel like if you've seen one dune you've probably seen them all), but being that this was my first dune experience it was one of my favorite places we went on the trip. They were renting out dune sledding boards in the parking lot, but my friends and I preferred to go with the cheaper method of hiking up the giant sand dune slopes and then sprinting as fast as we could all the way down. I will admit that I took a few epically great spills and proceeded to wake up the following days finding sand in pockets, ears, hair, shoes, and everywhere else that sand is near impossible to remove in full from. We also spent a lot of time jumping off the edges of the hills, which made for some of the more interesting photos you can see in this entry. It kind of felt like a natural playground for adults, which in all honesty there should be more of. At the same time though it was also a really surreal and serene place to just walk around. You venture off and feel like you're in a totally alien environment, which is kind of a terrifyingly liberating feeling. You feel like you could just walk into the horizon and get lost in this desert world (which is really in the middle of a very temperate and well forested region).

Anyway I'm sure the pictures speak relatively well for themselves and there's only so many ways I can describe a sand dune, so I'll just leave you all with that and give an update hopefully in a few days most likely on our canyoning experience. However, given my current work ethic it might be more than a few days before that entry actually surfaces.

road trip

So I've just returned from my three week break, which was spent taking a road trip all over the country. I won't go into all the details of all the stuff we did because I'll be writing a couple of shorter entries about specific places we went in the coming weeks seeing as how I was not able to update from the road over the past three weeks. However a brief list of things we did ran across giant sand dunes, went scuba diving and snorkeling, climbed a glacier, repelled down 80m below ground into a large cave, jumped off of cliffs and slid down waterfalls, swam with dolphins, saw a pod of orca whales, saw some amazingly beautiful beaches, went on numerous hikes all over the country, crammed five people into a 2wd station wagon filled to the brim with backpacks and suitcases, and had an all around amazing time. The pictures in this entry are from the glacier hike (and the drive up to the Franz Josef glacier) we did the weekend before we departed on the three week trip. I unfortunately lost my camera on this trip so these are the last of the pictures I have that I personally took. Luckily three other people on the trip had cameras so I'll be snagging their photos in the coming week and will be posting some of those pictures in the coming entries.
The trip was quite epic. A lot of crappy food, snacks, and lollies (candy) were eaten. I drove most of the time on the trip (because I liked driving and no one else seemed to jump at the task and because I can't really sleep a jam packed car, but everyone else seemed to be able to). There were numerous nights where we would be driving until past 1 a.m. searching for places to stay. Our trip consisted of a mixture of sleeping at campsites, a few random locations, and hostels. It was a good blend of order and chaos. A lot of the trip was planned, but everything was planned about a day or two before it was actually scheduled to happen. It was definitely an interesting mix, I am usually a person who likes to have everything planned, but I surprisingly found it quite easy to let things unfold as they would and go with the flow. That's not to say everything went smoothly. Cramming five people into a small car that required a remarkable amount of space management to merely pack the trunk and have the door close can get on anyone's nerves. Long nights of driving, searching for places to stay, and not showering for days at a time tends to already building tensions. With that being said we all got along great and aside from a few tense moments, the whole trip was a blast and everyone had fun being around each other.
One of the things that stuck out with me throughout traveling all across NZ is how daunting the landscape really is. When you're standing in front of the huge cliffs, mountains, caves, glaciers, etc. it really makes you feel quite small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It's interesting how coming to one of the smaller countries of the world was what could make me feel like a small fish in a big ocean. It really seems like don't get the same type of landscape grandeur in the states that you see our here. Throughout the trip we had a nice mix of staying in towns, cities, rural areas and going to both tourist destinations and a lot of places off the beaten path. Even though I always enjoyed the less populated destinations more than the ones packed with tourists, there was always a sense of relief I felt when coming up to a town after a long night of driving on dark, windy roads. Overall it was just amazing to get out of the bubble of the University and to just go wherever we felt like.
So even though I'm saving a lot of the details of the trip for smaller entries when I have specific photos to share I do have a few to share. So I got pulled over by a cop for the second time in my life here in NZ. First thing for you all to know is that speed limits here are ridiculous. Many of the roads are hardly developed and are, more often than not, quite windy up and down mountain passes. Now the speed limit for such roads is almost always 100 km/h which is a little over 60 mph. Now that's not a fast speed when you're going on a relatively straight freeway, but on NZ roads you'd have to be crazy to whip around those turns at that speed (although kiwis are pretty crazy drivers sometimes so maybe they're just used to it). Another important side note is that NZ police officers oftentimes set up random road blocks where they have officers administering breathalyzer tests to all cars coming through. So I had been subject to a couple of these before because of the amount of driving we did at night (the first of which was a bit confusing b/c the breathalyzers here look like audio recorders and I was unsure of what was going on). Anyway so it was a rainy night and I was driving along the road which I'm pretty sure was 100 km/h but the signs are often few and far between so I was not positive, but I was driving at a safe and comfortable speed regardless. So then I saw the lights light up behind me and, while normally whenever you see those lights you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach like you've done something wrong, but for some odd reason I didn't get it this time. The officer came over and took my license and administered a breathalyzer test (which I'm sure is pretty standard for whenever someone gets stopped by a cop since they have all those random road blocks set up). Anyway I hadn't had anything to drink all day so I was fine. At this point I'm still somewhat confused as to why I was pulled over because I was pretty sure I was under the speed limit and had not done anything reckless. So after seeing that I was completely sober the officer told me that I was free to go, but to stay pulled over so that he can pull in front of me so that he "doesn't have to follow me at that speed for the rest of the way". I literally got pulled over because I was driving too slow (by kiwi standards). I've never felt like such an old person in my life. Needless to say I got a fair amount of crap from my fellow road trippers about that for the rest of the trip. So anyway, that's my story demonstrating how NZ's speed limits are ridiculous and almost arbitrary in nature.
The other good story I have is on the flight back to Christchurch from Auckland. We were running a little late in the morning and were cutting it close to arriving to the airport on time for our 10 a.m. flight. At this point in the trip there were only three of us left so we decide to run in and check our bags and then I would go return the rental car. So we run in and check our bags around 9:30 and I go to return the car, the problem is the Apex car rental return location is not anywhere near the building that has 4 other rental car companies. Plus, no one seems to know where this Apex office is. Finally I get directions to the office and we decide that my two friends will board the 10 a.m. flight and I'll try my best to make it, but if I miss it I'll just book a later flight, no problem. So I arrive at the car rental office at around 9:50 so at this point it's clear that I won't be making the flight. I drop the car off and don't see a shuttle anywhere in site so I start walking in the rain back to the domestic terminal to sort out the flight issues. However, what I failed to realize is that it's a security breach to check in a bag on a flight and then not actually show up for that flight. So as I'm making the 15-20 minute walk back to the terminal in the rain the plane is actually sitting in the runway trying to either track me down to get me on the plane or find my bag to get it off the plane. I get to the terminal and go over to the help desk and explain the situation and the employee suddenly just goes "oh you're the last passenger?!? you've got to go the gate right now!" so I was sprinted through the airport by multiple employees to get to the plane so that it could take off. I sprint through the security and down the loading hall onto the plane where approximately 100 passengers start giving me the slow clap while all looking like they're just as soon inflict some serious harm to me. So I (that stupid American college kid) delayed an entire flight for about a half hour because I check my bag and then failed to board the plane. Oh and of course my seat is almost all the way in the back of the plane, so I have to walk right by everyone on that plane. It never works out that you have the front row seat in those situations, you always need to have the opportunity to make eye contact with every passenger on that plane. While a bit mortified about the situation all the airport employees were very nice about it and one flight attendant even came over and told me about the time she similarly had delayed an entire 747 of passengers so I really shouldn't feel too bad. It was interesting to say the least, because even though people must have been quite irritated with me the two strangers I sat next to were very good humored about the whole thing. If that situation were to happen in America I can't imagine the kind of hate I would've felt entering that plane. I was very relieved to be dealing with a plane full of kiwis and not Americans at that point.
So anyway, those are just two of the very many good stories I've got from this road trip. Some stories, will probably only be truly funny to myself and a few others, but in the coming entries hopefully I'll have a few more stories and I'll be posting a lot more pictures of specific places we went to along the way and then I can take more time to describe the more interesting experiences in greater detail.

dolphins & sharks: tales of akaroa

I'm done for three weeks and it feels quite great. I finished up last week by handing in a paper on Wednesday and taking a test on Thursday, both of which I think went well. However, I won't know what I actually got on any of my assignments until after the break is over so I'm choosing to not worry about anything academic related for a few weeks. I suppose I could start on some of the papers and projects I have to do after break (and I actually do have to do a short online assignment during break for one of my classes), but I'm going to put most of it off until after break and just enjoy the time off. After all that's what study abroad is for, right? I kicked off my break but going out for drinks with some friends and just chilling out for a few days. I literally slept and laid around for most of Friday, which was quite nice (even if I did feel a little worthless towards the end).
On Saturday I woke up early to go into the city to book some things for the break. I'm traveling around the North and South Islands, doing a smattering of fun activities with four friends whom I haven't had a chance to spend a whole lot of time with yet, so it'll be fun to break away from the people I hang out with everyday for a few weeks. Not that I dislike them or anything, I just like varying the people I spend time with and getting to know new people better. What better way to meet new people than to spend weeks crammed up in tents, hostels, and cars with them? Anyway we went and rented a car and booked some accommodations and activities on Saturday morning. After doing that we hopped in the car, went back to campus and packed our bags for an overnight trip to Akaroa, which is about an hour and a half outside of Christchurch (all the pictures in this entry are from Akaroa by the way). We had booked time to swim with dolphins and were cutting it close on time seeing as how we didn't have a concrete idea of how to get there, but we made it with a bit of time to spare which was good. We suited up in uncomfortable wetsuits that smelled of mildew and got on a boat and went out into the ocean searching for some Hector's dolphins (which I've learned are one of the most endangered species of dolphins in the world). It was a really cool experience to travel along the coastline of New Zealand and then get to go out in the wander and have pods of dolphins swim around you.

After swimming with dolphin's we went and checked into our hostel, which was a funky little pink building, and went to acquire some bottles of wine and beer. After eating a deliciously deep fried dinner at a local fish & chips place we went and sat out on the docks and just hung out for a few hours talking, drinking, joking, and skipping rocks. It was a really fun laid back time. Akaroa was a nice contrast to Christchurch. It has the vibe of a really small beach town, that gets pretty quiet once the sun goes down. We walked back to the hostel to drop off a few things and then went to a bar around the corner. Whereas the average age of the Christchurch bar population is around 20, I'd say this bar was pushing around 40. It was complete with a really corny DJ ("DJ Steve" specifically) who played some pretty good "bad music". It actually turned out to be a really really fun night, there was a mini-bachelor party that was going on at the bar which was interesting to say the least and it was just a really quirky scene altogether.
The next day, after going to bed at quite the late hour, we woke up early once again. We grabbed some coffee and quick breakfast and headed down to the docks to meet up with a guy who charters a fishing boat and takes people out to do deep sea fishing. It was the five of us along with a group of six or so 30-something guys. We ended up spending most of the day out on the water and just hanging out, fishing, and talking with kiwis. I caught a couple of fish (and one tenacious shark who was about 3 feet or so big). I'm not much of a fisherman, but it was still a lot of fun and a great way to kick off break with something new and different. We came back after a day on the sea and packed up our stuff and hit the road.I ended up driving back (for the first time in New Zealand). It was a bit stressful being on the other side of the road especially since the drive back featured lots of hills, narrow roads, and very windy turns. However, I ended up getting used to it pretty quickly and I'll definitely be good to go when I drive on the rest of the trip. Speaking of the rest of the trip we're going to Fox Glacier tomorrow which is about a 6.5 hour drive. We'll be staying at a hostel tomorrow in a nearby town and then going on an organized hike around the glacier on Tuesday. Then we'll come back to Christchurch for another night before heading out on the long portion of our journey to Abel Tasman, Queenstown, the North Island, and various other spots. I'll have more pictures and updates on the break when I return. I'm not sure when my next update will be seeing as how my internet availability might be somewhat sporadic in the coming weeks, but I'll get to it when I get a chance.

the long awaited return

I'm back! I apologize for my week long hiatus, i know my loyal followers were eagerly awaiting another brilliant entry and I let you down. I was a bit bogged down writing a history paper and studying for my exam this past friday, both of which turned out okay (at least I think so we'll see what the people grading those assignments have to say about that pretty soon.) and i just finished up my rough draft for a sociology paper that is due in a couple of days so I'm feeling somewhat accomplished. I have to hand it in and then I have another exam this coming thursday and then I will have attained freedom for the following three weeks. Although I plan on trying to get a head start on a paper that's due shortly after the end of that break (we'll see how that goes, I feel like I'm being a little idealistic in the assumption that I'll actually do work over break.)

Anyway not much has gone on in the past few weeks. I've spent times hanging out with friends, gone out on a few select nights, but spent most of the time doing things academic related. It's been weird to work on academic related things once again (this past week was the first time I actually had anything due this semester). I feel like I'm starting to get back into the swing of things, which is a good thing. A few friends and I went to a small local brewery last week in Christchurch. We got an interesting tour of the process of brewing beer and got to try different kinds of beer that they brew at the end. It was a fun time and actually gave me a newfound respect for the process of beer brewing. I don't think college students really appreciate beer for the effort that goes into making it as much as the alcohol it contains, but it was really cool to hear someone talk about the technique and thought that goes into creating different types of beer. I think that was the only real noteworthy adventure of the past week. Ultimate frisbee is coming to an end this week (although there is one more match the week after assuming that enough people show up to play since it's after the break starts.) It's been fun to play on a team again, I can't say I'm the best ultimate frisbee player that ever lived, but it's a good way to spend a Monday night after a long day of classes.

Well since I don't have much of an update in terms of actual events in the past few weeks I might as well give another update on the going ons of my inner thoughts regarding study abroad and life. Also I should probably stop with these introduction sentences and just write what I'm going to write (you probably just wasted approximately ten seconds of your life reading those past two sentences that really hold no valid content). Sorry about that :-). I've come to realize that I'm slow to adjust to situations. I probably should have realized that after it took me over a year to get settled in and actually enjoy college, but this experience somewhat reaffirms that sentiment. After going off to Boston initially I found that I missed everything about going to high school and growing up in a small town. Everything I had appreciated, under-appreciated, not appreciated at all came to the forefront of my mind and I spent months trying to reconcile these feelings with how I was going to deal with this entirely new environment. Eventually I realized that the two situation are entirely different and can really in no be compared. Once I realized that I found that I really could enjoy myself, and what do you know I actually love going to school in Boston now and all that it entails, but it took me awhile to get there.

I've found that this is a bit of the same situation except I don't think I'll be here long enough to really fall in love with New Zealand. Don't get me wrong I am fully enjoying myself and am having a good time, but people would say before I left "oh you'll have the time of your life!" and now when I talk to people the first thing they'll say is "how's New Zealand I bet you're having the time of your life!" To be honest, I really dislike the term "time of your life". As I realized when I went from high school to college, you can't compare these experiences. The only way to truly enjoy where you are during your short existence here on earth is to take every day for its potential to hold new and novel experiences. No one can every legitimately say "I had the time of my life" because there's really no point where you can definitively know that. You can call me out as a literalist if you want, but literal or not, it's still true.

Anyway I feel like I haven't done a whole lot over the past few months. Probably because it takes me so long to settle in. Hopefully the upcoming break will force me to go out and travel and get some new experiences under my belt. The problem is I'm content with just hanging out with friends and getting to know people better or spending time by myself walking around listening to music. I think I just value human interaction and self-reflection more than seeing sights and traveling. I think that the study abroad experience kind of forces you to travel, it's an expectation (not that that's a bad thing it's just the way it is) because I know when I get home people will ask me all about my experiences and where I went and what were the coolest things I saw were. There's an expectation to have stories about sightseeing and tourist-y things because if I respond to that question by saying I met some really awesome people and didn't travel much the conversation pretty much ends there. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that there's so much expectation and pressure placed on experiences like this that it's almost pre-defined before you step on the plane. Universities advertise the experience in a certain way and students go abroad with that ideology in their minds and experience everything that they're "supposed" to experience. Thus when they come back they have all the right stories and anecdotes to prove that they really did go abroad for a semester. I'm guessing I'm probably in the minority in this belief and most people would say that I'm not making the most of the potential this experience holds for me, but again this an entirely personal thing.

This trip has really just felt like another semester so far, a bit of a different setting and different people to meet, but when it comes down to it, I don't feel the need or desire to cram a whole slew of drastic and different things into a five month period. Most people probably do, and maybe I'm just a weirdo, but I think it's best to not worry about what other people expect or want you to get out of study abroad (or any experience in life for that matter) and to do just what comes naturally and enjoy yourself. This is not meant to be a bitter entry by any means (it might sound a little harsh and dramatic, but really it's not meant that way). I'm having a good time over here so no worries about that. The last thing I'd want to do is have someone come away from this entry thinking I'm bitter and upset half a world a way because that is certainly not the case. To be honest I like it here (I don't yet love it, perhaps that'll happen before I leave, perhaps not) and I do miss home, but so would anyone who has amazing friends and family and is half a world away from them for almost five months. I hope all is well with everyone reading this and with any luck I'll be back in a weeks time to give you another update. Oh, and if the next time I talk to you you accidentally say the phrase "time of your life" I promise I won't freak out. I'm not thaaaaat dramatic. :-)

and now for something different

Aloha everyone. This entry is a bit of a departure from my previous endeavors into the blogging world so if you're only curious as to my day to day activities then feel free to skip over this entry and wait for my next update on my New Zealand adventures. For everyone else I offer a break from routine and a grounded entry into the workings of my mind (I know, I know, sooo fascinating).

I've come to realize, through various nights out on with friends sharing conversations of no great importance as well as spending late nights/early mornings out on the balcony with nothing but myself, my iPod, and a carefully crafted playlist that there is so much of the study abroad experience that goes unspoken about. Aspects that people don't bother to question or look into. The personal growth and expansion that happens from being more alone and separated from home than ever before. I don't mean home in the purely physical sense either, I refer to home in the abstract sense of more than a building/town/location/etc. I mean the home where you feel comfortable with yourself and who you've established yourself to be. where everyone that surrounds you knows you for all your past experiences, achievements, and mistakes. These months away allow a person to reinvent themselves however they choose, to act in ways outside of the personal characteristics and habits that home has established. This time is not just a break from American culture to see a new place in a foreign land, it's a time to break away from yourself in a sense (that may sound "deep" and esoteric, but it's not meant to be and I think that most people get the general gist of what I'm talking about if not the whole thing).

I've been over here for over a month and i can honestly say that I'm not the same person I was when I left. I suppose that type of change is to be expected, but until you actually experience it for yourself, it seems relatively abstract and unattainable. Going off to college initially offered a similar sense of space and separation, but not like this (not to this degree anyway). Being away has given me an increased amount of perspective. I can look back on home and realize the things that I cannot go without, the things that I truly value in life, and the aspects that truly matter to me most. On the other hand it's also allowed me to view the aspects of life i feel I'd be better off without. Being so far away (approximately halfway around the world) physically and mentally allows for this in a way that I really hadn't anticipated. This includes things both external and internal to my life. I've seen aspects of myself and others that are both admirable and shameful (which is a harsher word than i would like to use, but it's late over here and I'd rather not bust out my thesaurus to find a more appropriate word). I think this has really set in over the past few weeks and honestly it's an odd feeling, but also a very liberating sense of self.

To be able to completely reinvent myself if I so choose is a very odd place to find myself in (although I wouldn't go to that extreme because I happen to quite enjoy the person I've come to be over the past 21 years). Again i think the reason that you don't really hear about these aspects of study abroad is that it's so hard to convey (I hope I'm doing a somewhat suitable job in this blog entry, but this may or may not be the case in actuality). Upon talking with people back home the questions asked are largely the obvious ones that I would ask to someone else who was studying abroad like what I've been up to, how do I like classes, what's the culture like, how am I adjusting, etc. (and I suspect that the questions asked upon my return will be largely be the same). Thus, I'm taking this blog entry as a place to delve a bit deeper into the personal growth of my time halfway around the world.

After growing up in a small town and having a very close, tight-knit group of friends in Boston it's a very foreign experience to be surrounded people that know so very little about me. I suppose that's part of the appeal of this journey too though. a lot of people get a bit caught up in their college experience a few years in and desperately need a breath of fresh air. While this is not the exact case for me i can definitely see how people come back from their time abroad with an altered outlook than when they departed. again, I don't think I've drastically changed or anything, so for those of you who liked me the way i was there should be no worries and for those who disliked me i guess you're just out of luck :-).

that's pretty much all I've got to say as of now. I didn't have a whole lot in the way of updates on classes, travel, and whatnot so I pretty much just wrote this entry about what was on my mind in one fell swoop. Thus, I apologize if it's a bit repetitive or incoherent at times (it's also a bit late so my stream of conscious thought is not as sharp as it might have been at an earlier hour). Hope all is well with everyone reading this!

another week (or so) another post

So I promised pictures for this blog entry, unfortunately for you the best I can do at this time is to post pictures of my flat (which I meant to do initially, but never did). I was planning on going out to take pictures of the campus on Sunday, but I was feeling particularly lazy and ended up just lounging around for most of that day. I hope to get pictures of the campus this upcoming weekend (I'm choosing not to do it during the week because I feel quite awkward being the kid walking around in between classes taking pictures of buildings that students see everyday) so maybe I'll finally get motivated to do that. There isn't a whole lot to update on this week so I'll do my best to keep this interesting.

Classes have continued to go well. I have a few papers and midterms coming up in about two and a half weeks. It's kind of crazy to think that I have a chunk of work to do in the next few weeks and then I have a three week break. I haven't really figured out what I'm going to do for that big chunk of time, but I hope to get a chance to do quite a bit of traveling because I'm finding it a bit hard to get motivated to plan out the logistic of weekend trips. Maybe this extended break will give me a kick in the pants to get things worked out and to make travel arrangements. Two of my flatmates went to Queenstown this past weekend with some friends to bungie jump and go jetboating (although I'm still not entirely sure what that is). I was contemplating going, but I was pretty run down by the end of last week and figured I'd lay low rather than go on a trip and come back sick. However, those two did recently acquire a car so that'll make it easier to go on trips around the country.
I mentioned last week (I think) about joining clubs and contemplating joining the tramping (hiking) club. Well I looked through their little pamphlet and decided that it was a bit too intense for me, the fact that I owned none of the equipment necessary to go on the majority of their hikes was a bit of an indicator. A few of my friends went on the introductory hike this past weekend, which was supposed to be "easy" and said it was more intense than they expected and they're people who actually hike (unlike myself). Thus, I think I'll just have to plan on going on small day hikes with a few friends in the upcoming weeks rather than the extreme mountain sprinting hikes that the tramping club will be going on. I have, however, been going to ultimate frisbee for the past two weeks. The club meets on monday nights for about an hour and a half to play. Last week was just an introduction to the rules and techniques, which was helpful because I've never actually played in a semi-competitive nature. I brought along two of my flatmates, Zach and Scott, and they ended up enjoying it enough to join the league so that was cool. Anyway yesterday was the first game and my team played Zach's. Unfortunately we lost by one point giving him the prestigious right of gloating. The other club I joined was the commerce society called UCom. They're having a big kickoff BBQ this friday as well as a pajama (interestingly spelled pyjama here) party the night before. I'm planning on going to both events (if I'm lucky I can score a fabulous pair of footy pajamas before then) and I think most of my flatmates will go too so that'll be a fun way to end the week.
Other than going to class the majority of the academic work I have as of now is reading, which I need to catch up on since I got my textbooks a little late. It seems pretty manageable, but I also should probably start research for some of the papers I need to write in the next few weeks. I've found that the motivation for procrastination is much stronger here than it is back home. Combine this with my long hiatus from school work and it's not the best combination. No worries though, I'm sure I'll be able to stay on top of my work I always seem to manage that. There may be more distractions here in terms of new things to do, but at least they only have around six TV channels. Premium cable is really not that common here, I mean we have it in the village's rec room, but our flat only has basic cable (which is really fine by me, I never watched that much TV in Boston anyway). It's just a bit odd because cable, internet, and cell phones are treated so differently here than in the states. I pay for my internet access here and, rather than pay monthly rates, I pay by the gigabyte, I'm still not entirely sure how that works, but it's a very odd system. Most people get cell phone plans with a large amount of texts because calling is still somewhat pricey even with a plan (this is probably because there are only two major cell phone service providers). It's very different than being at home where I'm always connected to the internet and calling/texting/etc. on my cell phone. It's been interesting to see the difference in the way technology is used here as opposed to how it's used back home.
That's pretty much all I have to update on for right now. Sorry if this entry seems a little scatterbrained. I just woke up from a nap and feel a bit out of it, hopefully the whole thing is somewhat coherent. With any luck I'll have a more lively and interesting entry to post next time full with amazing photos of campus and other events, but you'll just have to wait and see.