So I left New Zealand a month ago to this day. I figured this would be an appropriate time to collect my thoughts about the trip and put them together for one last entry. I would like to say I've been spending the last month mulling over my experience thinking of the perfect way to write this entry, but that's only half true, the other half I was procrastinating and not doing anything at all really. I guess I can start with the same thing that I tell everyone who has asked me how the experience was so far: it was really great and by the end of the five months (or so) I was entirely ready to come home. Now after being home for a month I can safely say that home can be quite boring at times, but my first thought in response to boredom isn't 'I wish I was back in New Zealand right now', on the contrary it's 'I can't wait to get back down to Boston for the fall semester.' I guess that sums up a lot about how I view my abroad experience in hindsight. It was fun and I had a really enjoyable time in a foreign land, but when it comes down to it, I'd rather spend my time now looking forward and being excited for the future, rather than dwelling on the past.
I would like to say that New Zealand changed me in some time of significant and inspiring way, but truth be told I feel the same as when I left. I feel a little more grown up (about 5 months to be exact), a little more mature, but nothing too monumental. I guess the biggest change is that I feel more grounded (go figure, I go abroad and end up more grounded... not sure how that one works). I feel more attached to New Hampshire and Boston than I was when I left, I have a newfound excitement to return to school in the fall (it's been a full year since I've attended classes at Northeastern). I guess this is the best case scenario, it's better to be excited about the coming day than sad the previous day is forever done with. People asked me if I'm dying to go back there or if I'll end up going back there later in life and to be quite honest I have no idea. I'm at a place now where I've got a healthy does of traveling and I'm not in the mindset to plan any other global adventures I might experience in the future. I just am not jumping to leave this place behind again after I've just arrived back.
I guess the advice that I would give future study abroad students ties to what I've said in this blog all along. Don't go into study abroad with the stereotypical expectations about the experience. Your trip is whatever you make of it, don't think you have to do everything that people expect you to do. I suppose that seems also like a life-long lesson, but it really is quite true in this situation. Everyone will want to tell you that you'll have a life-changing experience and that it'll be the journey of a lifetime. Maybe it will, and maybe it won't, but let it be whatever it turns into. Don't go into it expecting much of anything, half the fun about traveling far away is the mystery and the intrigue that such an event holds. It's more fun when your abroad experience turns into something you hardly ever expected and to be honest, it was much more fun for me to figure things out as they came along the way. Also you don't need to reinvent yourself while abroad, oftentimes people force themselves to change because they feel like it's part of the process. Let things happen and life will end up changing you (it has a funny way of doing that). I learned that I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I initially thought, so I guess in an odd way, I changed by not changing so much.
I would like to say I learned a whole ton about New Zealand culture and history, but truth be told I am still no expert on any foreign culture (I'm probably not that good of a resource when it comes to American culture either), but what I did learn I learned from people I met and friends I made. There's only so much you can take out of a classroom and, while it is called 'study abroad' a lot of the knowledge I gained was entirely outside of the classroom and off the campus. I may not have learned a lot about the history of New Zealand, but I got to know some of the people who live there very well, and saw a lot of it's beautiful scenery. I've noticed that I still say some kiwi terms now and again (I don't think I'll ever stop calling candy "lollies") and I have to catch my tongue sometimes because I realize that no one I'm currently talking to will get any of the references I was about to make, but that's all part of re-adjusting to my surroundings and realizing that I'm, once again, back home and no longer abroad.
I could ponder over the question of what I learned about myself while abroad for months and not come up with a satisfactory answer. I feel like I've given a few examples and ideas of how I might have changed in the preceding paragraphs, but truth be told it's very hard to see how you've personally changed. I guess I'm just a little to close to the question to give an accurate answer. I personally don't think I've changed that much, but maybe if you were to ask someone else you'd get an entirely different answer. I don't feel like I found a new piece of myself in New Zealand, or left a piece of myself there either for that matter. I feel, by and large, like the same old me, for better or worse.
I guess the last question to address would be what was my favorite memory. The answer to this is just being able to spend my three week break on the road with four other friends going all over a completely foreign country. This is probably a cop-out because it's not one single memory, but rather a collection. However, to me it's very hard to separate a single memory out of that whole trip, it is best recollected as an experience in its entirety. Come to think of it that's kind of how I feel about the entire five month trip. It's best remembered as a whole experience. Trying to pick out specific instants and moments seems to ruin the continuity and flow of the whole experience to me. I guess that's why I don't necessarily love fielding questions about the experience either. The whole thing is a kind of "you had to be there" moment to me. I can do my best to explain it in excruciatingly explicit detail, but even then it's all still words and not much more. Such moments are much better to live through than to relay to someone else after the fact. I guess this is the end of this blog, who knows where my amazing ability with prose will take me later in life, perhaps there will be a blog resurgence later, but for now this is it, I hope you've all enjoyed reading.
