The pictures in this entry are from a place we went to on the northern tip of the south island called Cape Farewell. We learned about it after getting hopeless lost in the Abel Tasman national park and had to stop in at a random spall bar/restaurant to get oriented. We met an American women named Jane who, a few years past, had moved to New Zealand and told us about a few of the prettier sights around the area. It's a bit off the beaten track and we arrived there right at sunset. It was an absolutely gorgeous place with cliffs, beaches, huge caves, and sweeping fields. It was probably one of my favorite places that we saw on our whole three week road trip. I don't have a whole lot to say about it, I feel it's easier to let the pictures speak for themselves here. It was really a breathtaking place to wander around and explore.
Aside from that I suppose I'll give an update at where my head is at this point of the study abroad experience. Being homesick has started to set in, somewhat significantly. Maybe this is because I know I'm done with the majority (if not all) of my traveling around NZ, or because I have to do papers and study for tests for most of my remaining time here, or maybe because it's starting to feel like winter here while it's summer back home, or maybe it's all (or none) of these things. What I think really is resonating with me right now is how quick life passes by. It's an odd mental twist because you would think that the aforementioned mentality would make me cherish my last few weeks here and value every limited minute I have left on this country, but it's surprisingly somewhat the opposite. I find myself thinking more and more about how most of my friends are now home in NH (or will soon be) and that this is the last summer where most of my classmates will be home for a significant period of time.
It struck me while sitting in my room for most of the day while it was grey, cold, and raining/sleeting outside that you can immerse yourself as much as possible in a foreign environment and fall in love as much as you want, but that it's still just that: a foreign environment. I know it's probably trite to say home is where the hear is, but that sentiment has really been resonating with me. I find myself wishing I could just be at home hanging with friends and family lately maybe it's just a temporary thing in the next week I'll be wanting to stay here, but it doesn't quite feel temporary in that manner. There's only so much time that we have on this earth and it's ultimately up to us to decide how we spend it, and I truly feel that, while scenic beauty and a foreign environment can cause feelings of awe and amazement, that those are ultimately a distant second to the awe and amazement you feel from just the most ordinary personal experiences you have via the relationships with the people you love. I do enjoy the company of the people I've met here and have made lots of good friends, but so much of the culture here is around going out and drinking and partying that it seems somewhat watered down.
I keep coming back to this line from a song by the format: "you know the night life is just not for me, cause all you really need are a few good friends". I guess my mind works lyrically and musically and I could probably cite a lyric or song for any mood that I'm going through, but that's really what has resonated with me over the past few days, just a single line from one song. It's odd that you find the deepest truths in the simplest of phrases so often. Something written does have to be profoundly complex or packed with SAT vocabulary words to insight the simplest and most powerful emotions in us as humans. Sorry that was a bit of a digression, but it all comes back to having really realized what's so important about life and our short existence in a massive world. A person can be inspired by any number of things (music, sport, dance, etc.) and most times you can transport your passion wherever you go in life, but you can't transport that feeling of home. That sense of belonging that you only feel at certain places in life and maybe it's a temporary feeling and people can learn to call home wherever they want it, but right now, at this point in life, home means one, and only one, thing.
I'm not sure why I get quite nostalgic and homesick from time to time. It's weird that trivial things trigger a deep onset of emotions in me. Not in a sad or depressing way, but I guess in a happy way. I mean I wouldn't feel this way if I didn't have so much I care about back home, and it would be much more unsettling if I was never homesick and didn't miss anything back home, but that is obviously not the case so I guess I can rest assured. It just seems like while I do only have a finite amount of time left here, I also only have a finite amount of time left at home before adulthood comes crashing in hard (as if it hasn't already has). I'm at five year school so I may be a little behind everyone else, but the real world with graduate schools and jobs and families and all the glorious and terrifying aspects of truly accepting that you're an adult can take to you far reaches of the country if not the world. I can't help, but feel that I'm missing out on some things while I'm over here these past few weeks. Of course you could just as easily flip that statement and say if I was home I would be missing thing over here in NZ for the next few weeks. It's just not the same, I guess I'm just so much more invested in my life back home than I am here (quite understandably).
Oftentimes I find it's harder to get away from things over here. Yet another somewhat contradictory statement, after all, how is harder to get away from things when you're halfway around the world from everything? I guess since everyone is so adamant about making the most of their time in NZ that they're always looking to go places, meet up, hang out, go out, and so on and so forth. Meanwhile at the same time I feel like I should be doing all of those things so it's hard to find the mental determination to put off all of that and just spend some time alone. There are always people around our flat, or on campus, or anywhere really (I mean we're in a city after all). What's weird though is that I can always find solace in walking around in Boston at night with just my iPod and an empty mind, but I don't find that I can do that here. I think I just don't have the same comfort with this city as I do Boston, which is to be expected I've only been here for a few months (and will only be here for a few more). I guess I just miss being able to escape in that sense (if that really makes any sense, which it might not to some of you).
I feel that I should probably reiterate at this point that it's not like I'm disliking my time here and am counting down to my departure this entry is more of a venting of these feelings, because it's often just a whole lot easier for me to lay back and enjoy myself after this is all put to paper (or to screen I guess would be the correct way to phrase it for this blog). I'm still enjoying being here, it just doesn't have the same allure that it did in it's initial stages or that it did while driving across the country. This entry was a lot more profound and insightful in my head when I had it all jumbled in a mess up there, but I hope it wasn't a complete bore and you've at least made it to this last sentence. I keep saying that I'll update with some more brief entries with a few pictures and a description of places we traveled to (and maybe I will, who knows), but as of now you're going to have to get by with my weekly entries that are a bit too long (sorry people, I just like to make things difficult). Until next time I hope all is well with everyone reading this.
The pictures in this entry are from a place we went to on the northern tip of the south island called Cape Farewell. We learned about it after getting hopeless lost in the Abel Tasman national park and had to stop in at a random spall bar/restaurant to get oriented. We met an American women named Jane who, a few years past, had moved to New Zealand and told us about a few of the prettier sights around the area. It's a bit off the beaten track and we arrived there right at sunset. It was an absolutely gorgeous place with cliffs, beaches, huge caves, and sweeping fields. It was probably one of my favorite places that we saw on our whole three week road trip. I don't have a whole lot to say about it, I feel it's easier to let the pictures speak for themselves here. It was really a breathtaking place to wander around and explore.
Aside from that I suppose I'll give an update at where my head is at this point of the study abroad experience. Being homesick has started to set in, somewhat significantly. Maybe this is because I know I'm done with the majority (if not all) of my traveling around NZ, or because I have to do papers and study for tests for most of my remaining time here, or maybe because it's starting to feel like winter here while it's summer back home, or maybe it's all (or none) of these things. What I think really is resonating with me right now is how quick life passes by. It's an odd mental twist because you would think that the aforementioned mentality would make me cherish my last few weeks here and value every limited minute I have left on this country, but it's surprisingly somewhat the opposite. I find myself thinking more and more about how most of my friends are now home in NH (or will soon be) and that this is the last summer where most of my classmates will be home for a significant period of time.
It struck me while sitting in my room for most of the day while it was grey, cold, and raining/sleeting outside that you can immerse yourself as much as possible in a foreign environment and fall in love as much as you want, but that it's still just that: a foreign environment. I know it's probably trite to say home is where the hear is, but that sentiment has really been resonating with me. I find myself wishing I could just be at home hanging with friends and family lately maybe it's just a temporary thing in the next week I'll be wanting to stay here, but it doesn't quite feel temporary in that manner. There's only so much time that we have on this earth and it's ultimately up to us to decide how we spend it, and I truly feel that, while scenic beauty and a foreign environment can cause feelings of awe and amazement, that those are ultimately a distant second to the awe and amazement you feel from just the most ordinary personal experiences you have via the relationships with the people you love. I do enjoy the company of the people I've met here and have made lots of good friends, but so much of the culture here is around going out and drinking and partying that it seems somewhat watered down.
I keep coming back to this line from a song by the format: "you know the night life is just not for me, cause all you really need are a few good friends". I guess my mind works lyrically and musically and I could probably cite a lyric or song for any mood that I'm going through, but that's really what has resonated with me over the past few days, just a single line from one song. It's odd that you find the deepest truths in the simplest of phrases so often. Something written does have to be profoundly complex or packed with SAT vocabulary words to insight the simplest and most powerful emotions in us as humans. Sorry that was a bit of a digression, but it all comes back to having really realized what's so important about life and our short existence in a massive world. A person can be inspired by any number of things (music, sport, dance, etc.) and most times you can transport your passion wherever you go in life, but you can't transport that feeling of home. That sense of belonging that you only feel at certain places in life and maybe it's a temporary feeling and people can learn to call home wherever they want it, but right now, at this point in life, home means one, and only one, thing.
I'm not sure why I get quite nostalgic and homesick from time to time. It's weird that trivial things trigger a deep onset of emotions in me. Not in a sad or depressing way, but I guess in a happy way. I mean I wouldn't feel this way if I didn't have so much I care about back home, and it would be much more unsettling if I was never homesick and didn't miss anything back home, but that is obviously not the case so I guess I can rest assured. It just seems like while I do only have a finite amount of time left here, I also only have a finite amount of time left at home before adulthood comes crashing in hard (as if it hasn't already has). I'm at five year school so I may be a little behind everyone else, but the real world with graduate schools and jobs and families and all the glorious and terrifying aspects of truly accepting that you're an adult can take to you far reaches of the country if not the world. I can't help, but feel that I'm missing out on some things while I'm over here these past few weeks. Of course you could just as easily flip that statement and say if I was home I would be missing thing over here in NZ for the next few weeks. It's just not the same, I guess I'm just so much more invested in my life back home than I am here (quite understandably).
Oftentimes I find it's harder to get away from things over here. Yet another somewhat contradictory statement, after all, how is harder to get away from things when you're halfway around the world from everything? I guess since everyone is so adamant about making the most of their time in NZ that they're always looking to go places, meet up, hang out, go out, and so on and so forth. Meanwhile at the same time I feel like I should be doing all of those things so it's hard to find the mental determination to put off all of that and just spend some time alone. There are always people around our flat, or on campus, or anywhere really (I mean we're in a city after all). What's weird though is that I can always find solace in walking around in Boston at night with just my iPod and an empty mind, but I don't find that I can do that here. I think I just don't have the same comfort with this city as I do Boston, which is to be expected I've only been here for a few months (and will only be here for a few more). I guess I just miss being able to escape in that sense (if that really makes any sense, which it might not to some of you).
I feel that I should probably reiterate at this point that it's not like I'm disliking my time here and am counting down to my departure this entry is more of a venting of these feelings, because it's often just a whole lot easier for me to lay back and enjoy myself after this is all put to paper (or to screen I guess would be the correct way to phrase it for this blog). I'm still enjoying being here, it just doesn't have the same allure that it did in it's initial stages or that it did while driving across the country. This entry was a lot more profound and insightful in my head when I had it all jumbled in a mess up there, but I hope it wasn't a complete bore and you've at least made it to this last sentence. I keep saying that I'll update with some more brief entries with a few pictures and a description of places we traveled to (and maybe I will, who knows), but as of now you're going to have to get by with my weekly entries that are a bit too long (sorry people, I just like to make things difficult). Until next time I hope all is well with everyone reading this.
0 comments:
Post a Comment