Hmmm... what to say that hasn't already been said. I've got a little over a week left of time here in the Kiwi country. I'm not really sure what else to write about. I'm pretty content with things at this point in the trip (aside from the impending two exams that are looming over my head). I don't have a lot on my mind aside from trying to get through some studying and do well on these last few assessments. I had a nice, quiet week working on my sociology take-home exam, which I think turned out pretty well (for the most part). Still no word on any final grades for the two classes I'm now done with, but I feel pretty confident with my marks in both of them. We'll see how confident I am with my two unfinished classes once monday evening rolls around and I am entirely done. With that being said I've still made time to get out a little bit and enjoy the last few weeks I have with friends (in fact maybe a little too much). I figured there's only so much you can fret over studying and worrying about what letter grade you're going to receive for your work. I've worked hard this semester and feel pretty on top of the material I need to know for the final, so why not take a few breaks here and there to help pass the time and little more enjoyably.
I know I will be sad when I have to say goodbye to people, but I feel somewhat (guiltily) apathetic at this point. I think that's just because I really haven't even realized how soon I'm leaving. Even though I'm down to almost single-digit days left it still seems far off. I guess I've settled into that mindset over the past few months. There would be times when I would miss home, but I focused on the present and worked to enjoy each minute I have over here, cause who knows when something like this will happen again. I guess I've gotten a bit caught up in that mentality and while I've been subconsciously counting down the days until I get home it still feels far off for some reason. I guess my mind is a bit conflicted right now about what to feel. I'm sure I'll realize all the things that warrant missing as I'm leaving the country and within a few weeks of being home. People I've talked to ask me how the experience was and I pretty much tell them all the same thing. It was really great, I saw some amazing things and met some exceptional people, but I'm ready to be home. Some of my abroad friends said they felt the same way, while others wish they could spent the rest of their lives abroad (I guess it really just depends on the individual). Personally, I just have far too much emotional investment back home to be able to spend more that five months away.
It will definitely be odd arriving home and having most of my friends having either already left town or gearing up to leave town for the remaining months of summer. I guess that's too be expected though I mean it's the summer before most people's senior years and although I'll be a junior (thank you five-year system) I still feel that sense of being more grown up than I'd like to admit. This whole experience kind of solidified that feeling too. I mean being able to be out on your own, halfway around the world for five months is not small feat. I've been in situations and circumstances here that are outside of my comfort zone, I've grown up, and I suppose the most amazing thing of all is that I come out of this with both feet planted firmly on the ground. I feel a bit more level-headed than when I left the country. I've learned how to relax a little, not stress too much over everything. I've taken a backseat in planning things that I normally would've taken charge of. I've tried to step out of my comfort zone physically, emotionally, and socially and I'd like to think I've benefited from it. I'm still that same sleep deprived stress case I've always been, but maybe just a little less-so now. There's only so much you can worry about everything, and stress is only productive in very small doses. I hope to keep that mindset going into the last few years of school, because graduate coursework is not going to be a cakewalk by any means.
I guess I've learned a little bit how to focus on the present while I'm over here. People always talk about when are you ever going to get to experience something like this again and in that question/statement lies an idea that I probably should have clung onto a long time ago. There's only so much that planning for the future can do for you and there are times when you need to sit back and enjoy where you are in life. Sure you can take time to look back and see where you've been, look forward to see where you're going, but all in all if you don't take time to enjoy where you are now then what's the point? I guess I may be a little hypocritical because as I write this I'm somewhat counting down the days until I get home, but putting that aside I've really tried to enjoy my time over here for what it is, a fleeting experience. I guess that can be said about any experience, ever moment is fleeting in reality, the good and the bad will both pass and cling to what you can because it's not like any of us are getting any younger. Alright well I'm not entirely sure what the overall message of this entry is/was supposed to be, but I figured it had been a little while and I should update and this is what came out. I've got a few entries left in me before I retire this blog so I'm sure you are all looking forward to my final profound thoughts to come in the next week or so, but until next time, take care.
I know I will be sad when I have to say goodbye to people, but I feel somewhat (guiltily) apathetic at this point. I think that's just because I really haven't even realized how soon I'm leaving. Even though I'm down to almost single-digit days left it still seems far off. I guess I've settled into that mindset over the past few months. There would be times when I would miss home, but I focused on the present and worked to enjoy each minute I have over here, cause who knows when something like this will happen again. I guess I've gotten a bit caught up in that mentality and while I've been subconsciously counting down the days until I get home it still feels far off for some reason. I guess my mind is a bit conflicted right now about what to feel. I'm sure I'll realize all the things that warrant missing as I'm leaving the country and within a few weeks of being home. People I've talked to ask me how the experience was and I pretty much tell them all the same thing. It was really great, I saw some amazing things and met some exceptional people, but I'm ready to be home. Some of my abroad friends said they felt the same way, while others wish they could spent the rest of their lives abroad (I guess it really just depends on the individual). Personally, I just have far too much emotional investment back home to be able to spend more that five months away.
It will definitely be odd arriving home and having most of my friends having either already left town or gearing up to leave town for the remaining months of summer. I guess that's too be expected though I mean it's the summer before most people's senior years and although I'll be a junior (thank you five-year system) I still feel that sense of being more grown up than I'd like to admit. This whole experience kind of solidified that feeling too. I mean being able to be out on your own, halfway around the world for five months is not small feat. I've been in situations and circumstances here that are outside of my comfort zone, I've grown up, and I suppose the most amazing thing of all is that I come out of this with both feet planted firmly on the ground. I feel a bit more level-headed than when I left the country. I've learned how to relax a little, not stress too much over everything. I've taken a backseat in planning things that I normally would've taken charge of. I've tried to step out of my comfort zone physically, emotionally, and socially and I'd like to think I've benefited from it. I'm still that same sleep deprived stress case I've always been, but maybe just a little less-so now. There's only so much you can worry about everything, and stress is only productive in very small doses. I hope to keep that mindset going into the last few years of school, because graduate coursework is not going to be a cakewalk by any means.
I guess I've learned a little bit how to focus on the present while I'm over here. People always talk about when are you ever going to get to experience something like this again and in that question/statement lies an idea that I probably should have clung onto a long time ago. There's only so much that planning for the future can do for you and there are times when you need to sit back and enjoy where you are in life. Sure you can take time to look back and see where you've been, look forward to see where you're going, but all in all if you don't take time to enjoy where you are now then what's the point? I guess I may be a little hypocritical because as I write this I'm somewhat counting down the days until I get home, but putting that aside I've really tried to enjoy my time over here for what it is, a fleeting experience. I guess that can be said about any experience, ever moment is fleeting in reality, the good and the bad will both pass and cling to what you can because it's not like any of us are getting any younger. Alright well I'm not entirely sure what the overall message of this entry is/was supposed to be, but I figured it had been a little while and I should update and this is what came out. I've got a few entries left in me before I retire this blog so I'm sure you are all looking forward to my final profound thoughts to come in the next week or so, but until next time, take care.
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